Working....day and night... 8:30am to 5:30pm working hours..but, normally will need work more hours.. like her... she work almost 12 hours a day...and yet...still need to go back office work when got calls from terrible users at Prague... so sad to hear she work on holidays even weekends..='(
She look exhausted...stressed out...all because of idiot UAT stuff...stupid Prague user!!! Please be considerate to us where we do not work outside working hours ok!!!!! Geram!!!
I wish to help her..but i dun noe how to do her work...~~
I wish i could just make her day with laughter...but, i'm not a good joker..~~
I wish i could just be with her whenever she feels bored/stress... but i could only do is look at her and say "relax...man man do~....etc" which does not help her at all~~
I wish i could bring her foods when she feels hungry...but i don't know what foods she hunger for~~
I felt myself so useless at the sudden.... (=.=") but, at least i tried to "be with her" by chatting over MOC till she finished her job and go back home (^.^)..
I sms her whenever i free...to let her know at least...there is a person who cares about her condition... :)
I hope she can get through this week.... I wish to see her pretty smile again which is my happy medicine every morning. =)
Dunno how to describe this feelings...finally i got chance to meet her today...not intentionally, just that coincident needed her help take me home.. and she say yes~~
At first i thought she would find excuses to reject my request..because i thought she been avoiding to talk/meet me all the while. But i'm wrong. She was actually busy...very busy till need OT this week.
She looked more pale..not enough sleep look..dark circles getting darker and bigger... seeing her like that i feel sour in my heart.. wanted to cheer her up and she claimed she will be ok and straight sleep after reach home.
Tonight ate dinner with her...face to face... she looked at the big screen watching movies...i looked at her..and i smile..no matter how pale she looked...she always looked cute to me.. especially when her eyes look up... so kawaii~~ (^_^)
I felt her reaction a bit weird today...she looked soo "paiseh" in front of me... dun noe correct or not..but i'm sure she behave differently compare to when we first few times meet each other... I don't know why and don't want to know...because this could make both of us more paiseh to meet each other.
I rather being this way where we could ask each other out yc/dinner than making both of us paiseh cannot meet together...
I'll remember her tonite's kawaii face for long long time... (^.^)...
Today...feeling awfully bad this morning to work...
I received sms from her but no longer needed my help... but it do help brighten my day a little bit...
Found out there is not much talking can be done with her when i'm in "misery" mood...
Instead of just typing words to wait for reply from her, i'll just add on few words at the end with "lolx...xD...swt...etc" for her to at least reply 1 word...
I don't know how to say...or interrupt when someone that i suspect is interested on her talking with her...
i can see...he sits very close to her...touch her hands...but, i have to act nothing...act did not saw it...
I'm moving on...but still..y i do still feel pain in my heart... why i still cares about her every little thing...
She can't eat kiwi, banana, or stuff have tiny seeds in it. Otherwise, she will need to go hospital
She cant eat spicy food much but she loves it...End up having diarrhea everytime she eats it... She deserve it!
She cant eat sweet stuff or else she will feel pain lower jaw part...juz only know it..
She can't walk properly (not obvious) due to last car accident backbone cracked..
She hates to meet people without make ups unless very closed frens..
She likes to stare people around whenever she had the chance.. (I spotted that all the time)
She will use her hand cover her mouth when she laughs.. (i know she want cover her teeth =D)
She will play her hair after using phone or when looking/reading something on the phone... (sometimes only)
She don't like people give gifts to her... (she don't like to feel owing other people << claimed by herself)
She don't like big surprises where she have a weak heart to bear the huge excitement.
She likes to jogging most of the time...or else hang out with friends (fav hobby)...
She dislike people misjudge her for thing she never meant for it... (same as my housemate)
And there's a lot more i can write..but, i can't.....i scared i will step in more deeper..
Since she moved on, i shall move on too...she is happy where she are and i don't want be her "happy spoiler"... I love looking at her when she smile especially laughing...always i do~
~Let me bear the pain alone and let her shine her happiness~
Time flies~~~very slow...i still feel hurt in my heart...
No matter how much time i put on work, my heart still...feel lonely..
I thought of listening radio...chat with friends... spend time think about work.. could help me fade my sorrow. But it didn't. The more i cover... the more pain i feel.....
I do not know why i felt pain in my heart... I only know i will feel the pain when:
She did not reply my messages~
She did not reply me in moc/fb chat~
She refuse my invitation yet she accept my friend's invites~
She suspect me will do something harm/bad which i'm not~
She avoid looking/talk to me~
I thought i could let it go if i say to myself: it's ok~ it will passed away..~......But, it does make me more and more pain that i barely could cover it among others...especially in front of her...
She will move on~ That's what she has decided to do so...So, i do move on too~
After a long discussion with many friends, close friends....I have decided...
I decided no matter how hard it is...or how many rejections i received...I WILL STILL CONTINUE TO DO IT!!!
I WILL NOT GIVE UP!! REJECTIONS??! NO PROBLEM~! IT'S OK!! I WILL KEEP ON GOING~!!!
I WILL STRUGGLE FOR SUCCESS!! I BELIEVE MYSELF I CAN DO IT!!!
Same goes to my target girl >> Woofie~...or should i say it clear Nicole Lee...I confess that I Like Her and I will pursuit her...I Dare to say... I love her smile..even though she do her ugly faces~~ I won't feel a bit of disgusting~ But i found out she is adorable in that way!!! As what Bruno Mars songs : Just The Way You Are!
Nicole~ Even though how bad you looked at yourself, or even felt your face look much older than your real age, or how weak is your body are...from what i can see is ....that's the way you are, and i love the way you are. I don't know how you felt about me, but i'm very sure that i like you... and i wish i could be your only one and give me a chance to allow me have you be my only one.
Feel nothing.....do nothing.....think nothing....only relax-ing and lazying in mind....
Ok...i lied! I do think about woofie everyday....bit by bit....
I don't know whether i saw in internet is true or not... O type blood only have 3 minutes temperature...>.<"
As well for relationship, she seems doesn't have any intention of trying to give a try on new relationship...
It's Wednesday~~ My feelings towards Woofie getting stronger and stronger...day by day, hours by hours...it just getting stronger everyday... I don't know why i have this such stronger feelings towards her..
It's kinda like..."something" are suffocating me!! in my very chest!!...It makes me so uncomfortable everyday..Can SOMEONE HELP ME??!!!! What is this called?? Why AM I HAVE SUCH STRANGE FEELINGS?? AND IT'S GETTING STRONGER and STRONGER~~!!!!...
I tried to suppress this weird feelings in many ways...listen musics, concentrating on my work, chit chat with friends whenever i can, do research on something that makes me thinking... BUT, ALL DOESN'T WORK AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It makes me so drowsy....
The ONLY way i tried and it does really make this strange feelings goes away... which is i saw Woofie replied me no matter in MOC, FB chat, SMS, Calls or by just seeing her face 2 face. This uncomfortable feelings just vanished in a second!! No matter in what format, as long i see something related to Woofie.. i will be feeling better... From that on, i knew... this strange feelings is what people says....Missing a person...which a person that i cares the most! I FALL IN LOVE TO Woofie?!..
I can't help suppress this feeling...it's like...if i don't get to see her even just one day, it will get stronger and stronger....PLZ~~ WHO CAN HELP ME TAKE THIS FEELINGS AWAY FROM ME!!!????
I REALLY WANT TO SAY OUT LOUD THAT...>>>>>>>> WOOFIE!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!...
it's really getting harder for me to act normal...even when it's in front of her. :'(
Woofie~ I didn't know that i needed you so much... It suffocates me day by day without you around...
It's badminton day~~!!! Wooohhooo!!! But hor...Woofie asked me to fetch her go work oh... (O.O)...i shocked liao...because normally she very independent de...no matter how she also will do it herself.. that's one of my opinion towards her la (^_^).... but then, i dun think so much lar... because she don't know i like her ma...maybe she just simply ask for a favor occasionally ler?.. I scared think too much.. and then expect too much... at the end, hurt more if wrongly think (>.<)....
Today whole day...macam normal.. saja...chit chat, eat lunch...u talk, i talk, macam tak ada aper saja... so normal... (^_^)
But then, tonite i really sot jor..go and write her all those weird weird words to woofie..and she kept saying me drunk liao izzit...(=.=")... How i wish...i could let her know...i willing choose you be my gf (*.*) no matter how you are...
Hi again! today...erm..(suppose to be Monday 10 October 2011)...i drive myself to work because need to go somewhere after work. As you can see the title, it's about new hair style.. but is not me... is Woofie!! ^_^
This morning as usual.. i invited some people eat breakfast together at company cafeteria. When she came in, she look different...new hair style..she make curly hair on lower part..i looked at her...she look very sweet to me.. especially together with lovely smile =) ... She made my day!
I hope she could stay as this look for longer time.. So, i could see her sweet look more... But, she lazy to style it ^_^"....i understand that..need spend alot time on styling it... well, no matter how she change.. she still look pretty to me... Maybe this is called "love is blind" ? (^_^)v
Keep up the good work Woofie!! wish u have happy day everyday~
i tell myself lots of times... "she is busy, maybe didn't listen her phone~" ..."she might be having fun chit chat with her frens and din aware there is a call or sms"...so, i kept waiting her reply all day....
Today i learnt...thinking a person you love is sweet...but, missing the person is painful....and i feel miserable of unable to attend her convo + not even able to get my flower in her hands...i so hate myself for being such a tool!
And yet...she say "nvm, no need buy present for me because i din buy present for you also when you convo"
I buy present not because i want you give me present also...is i just want to gift you something that comes truly from my heart. I have no intention of getting one back at all.... Am i this kind of person in everyone's eyes?
Today it was Woofie~ (her nickname i give (^.^)...)...convo. But, i din managed to go...because they came out early and i thought is 12pm (=.=")....So stupid am i~~ Somebody's convo i should come early even is 2 or 3 hours earlier..Aih~
What i can do is sms her wish her congratz~~ that's all i can think of...(>.<)....i bet she is having fun with her friends by now....eating lunch...go hang kai....watch movie (maybe~) through all day long. Well, i'm not there with her... That's the problem =(
But then, think again.. she will be happy without me around because....i know none of their friends and i don't want her to entertain me only and forget her friends...i don't want that happened... I shall wish her again face 2 face next Monday then (^.^)v
From this, it makes me think that whether i still compatible with her or not for the rest of the life.... she is fun, outgoing, active and loves to play...while me is outgoing, active, also love to play...but..boring! i can sit there face 2 face dun talk for 1 hour...i think my brain some part which is learn how to talk more already cacat or malfunctioned. (=.=")zzzzz......
i so hate myself being this way...hate myself for being so...quiet...so...dumb...so stupid....and always smile and laugh only...(>.<")
Hi~ I'm back to blogger again =)
Normally every time i write blog, this means i have something that couldn't find someone to share with. So, i use writings to spill it out...
Today i go work..as usually fetch my cute girl (actually i treat her is my little sister (^.^)....) together...but, she have to stay late working. End up her sister come fetch her back.. As for me? Today is Thursday...Badminton day!! i go badminton...even though my best partner Edmund din come play mens double with others =(....
But...that's not the point... As long she got come, i'll come as well... Becoz she is the reason kept me going...
Let's call her NL..(nick name)...Although she is not pretty, but she caught my eyes. (*.*)...Allow me briefly intro how this become ya ;)
Firstly, i remember this year she join in my company.. i still havent seen her face before but everybody says she is a hottie... but, it does not make me curious..because i know that time i'm fat and not leng chai..so why bother go curious about it? 1 month later, one of my colleague brought her into our GT( Graduate Trainee) gang...that time i'm like the King of GTs (haha!!) manage the GTs informally... By the time i saw her, i stood there for 5 secs...that where she caught my eyes.. But, i din go near and get to know her well coz i'm shy and feel ashamed of how i look...so, i slowly follow the gang...slowly get her attention by people introduce me. From that on, i slowly take action to know her...understand her...familiarize her favs things....
Few months passed already, finally get to know she wasn't actually this slim as it were before.... (O.O) that time it caught my attention and so i urge for an answer! She said she been rejected by someone and hurt very badly. From that on, she went jogging till the slim body as it looks right now... Their frens also shocked seeing her become a hottie....At that point, i ask myself....she can do it..why i cant? So, i have made a serious decision at that time.... I want my slim body back!
Starting from 1st week September, i joined a program called "TRA" (The Right Approach) << name sounded very logic to me =) so i took it.. 3 months TRA program and it guaranteed me a slim body with no bounced back assurance. But, the TRA program require me not to eat my favourite foods =( (McD, Dominos, KFC and etc)... it was hard at first...but, it was she... NL who kept advising me how to keep fit...tell me dun give up...from that on, i felt i already love this special kind girl... =) So, everyday with her around...she kept me moving forward...she is my life booster to me...
But, i don't dare to ask more than that.. i want her be by my side...to take care her...love her... There is one day...her mood is very down...she find me...and share...that time i was happy..happy that i could share her sorrow, share her sadness...being part of her to deal the problem...i wish i could share everything i can with her for the rest of my life.....no matter good or bad...i just want her be by my side...that's all i wish for...
I know...i could not have that wish come true...i dun dare to say out my true feelings to her...i scared she reject and friend also cannot be anymore... I dun noe how she thinks..how she felt towards me...so, i decided that...make sure her face is fill with smile... whenever she laughs or smile...i will be happy for her...even though if she got bf , as long both of them are happy together.. i will wish them happily together forever...
That's what i can wish for her....Still i wish for the best to be with her if possible..
I will love her with my full heart~
I will bear her sorrow together~
I will share her everything i got just to make her happy everyday~
I will take care her no matter what happens~
I will not leave her alone when she needed me the most~
I will promise her to be by her side always~
And lastly~ i will say "i love you" every time i sees her
