Here I come again

Hi Blogger,

It's me again visiting my old blogs that i have never touch since last year.

When I read back all my previous posts, realized I'm so childish at that times writing those kinds of inadequate messages. Silly me~~

Here again I'm starting writes blogs to express my inner feelings which I found comfortable with it. Don't worry, it's not about her anymore - now it's all about myself.

I'm 26 now and facing the biggest challenges of every adults fear/worries the most - financial stability.

Do I have enough money to buy house? Car? Expenses for marriage, travel, bills, fees? Investments like house property, funds, savings? Am I capable to achieve that before 30 years old? Will I have a luxury lifestyle that I ever wanted for only working as employee under one big company?

The answer is NO! That's frustrates me all the times and yet that's not only it. People tends to grow up when age goes higher and that word will be the most important to all especially woman - maturity on mens.

Woman tends to think having a mature guy would bring them grow up to be mature together definitely will as what they thought.

But, one thing they missed out is "are you able to accept the criticism from men and embrace it gracefully?" - I believe this would be a great challenge to them especially those are narrow minded and sensitive. How I do confront these kind of people? I wonder~

That's all for today. Main point here is maturity of every individuals are different and we need to learn the differences and embrace it within ourself. Not just telling people "You should be mature, and guide me to it also" 

I Do Still Cares Her Everything~~

She do feel comfortable with me.. I can see that...when going back together from badminton...

I hope these feelings stays abit longer~~

Her smile only could make me smile...
Please God let me cherish her for abit longer...

so That I could start my day perfect ~~~for everyday....

Dear God, thanks for letting me got a chance to met her in this world...

I will appreciate every moments that we have been through together even just few seconds~~~

I do pray hard that she will happy for everything...always

But she abit depressed today...i can see that in short moment... Could be something bad happened... I wanted to ask her what happened but i afraid she will close her "door" and say "i'm ok"...

I want let her know that... I truly want to cheer her up whenever she needs ...

I'm in Love with Her great smile~~

She smile today~~~ whole day~~ i saw her smiling~~

That's the greatest thing i ever saw... :]

Dear God~~~Please let me have a chance to see Her everyday...

She could make my day perfect~~~

~~ A Very Happy 1/1/2012 Day ~~

Today is 1st day of new beginning year 2012. (^_^)v So, i decided to write something which is happy for my 1st day writing.
Start from 31/12/2011 8:30pm, me and my beloved gang friends: Ashley Teng, Florence (Peck Wah), Boon and his girlfriend (Janice) - actually there is more like Gideon, Suk Kuan, Irene Tee, but they all have their own plans.. Anyway, just enjoy the last day of 2011!! =)

We gathered together on 1 table and we chit chat to wait for 12:00:00am arrive. =)
When 12am strikes, the whole new day will begin and everything is gonna have a freshie start!! v(^.^)v

It's all about her~

It's been long time didn't write my blog. Well~~~ here I am again...writing out my deepest thinking right here...at my blog. Wonder anybody follow my blog especially "her"...

Ever since my last updates on my blog...I did not really take any actions to....well, be her bf or my gf. I don't have the guts to do that. Because...I think too much (@_@)"

Seeing her appearances and mindset, she probably won't have any interest on young adults like me. well, i'm just guessing. Everyday or maybe every hour, she will have at least few guys who tries to get close to her, find ways to interact with her. I believed their ultimate goals is >>> woo her to be his gf. I believe every guy would do that. It's a standard process to get to it! I tried to...but i got several bad feedbacks from her especially... a "cold shoulder" to me. Maybe she can't find any interest or anything on me....Again, i'm guessing it as well...

After several weeks of cool off by isolating myself interact with her, the ultimate root cause for this is on me. I think too much! Do too much thinking and yet a bad thinkings that makes me sulking in front of her... ( = . =") arrghhh.... To prevent this happening again, i made a conclusion! I need a change~!

Because of her..i felt misery, upset, gloomy, anger, all of the bad emotions that we could name of...The root cause of all this are >>> Bad mindset! And i know by showing my bad emotions to her, i scared her away more.. or other way round..Makes her dislike me more... Well, i'm guessing it again because she is a good in covering her real emotions...i mean very good~ But, i still managed to "caught" her cover up although she refuse to reveal her true emotions..

Back to main topic, I decided to change..How?I found a book: How to make yourself happy? ...Oh my~ that suits me definitely!! I read the book and somehow it works fine to me...Now i'll just need to keep practicing it to keep my mood high up.. People prefer facing happy people than sad people. Don't you agree? So, i train myself to be happy all the time and also few techniques to dissolve unhappy feeling quickly.

Although i managed to keep myself happy, I dun noe whether is she happy or not. After i started isolation method, she and I did not keep in touch frequently as usual. I felt a "gap" between us..I dun noe when it created and felt it's getting bigger and bigger....till we didn't even face to face eventhough we sit opposite together.

Could this be she and I really cannot be together?? Or she also felt the same feelings to me and yet shy to talk to me? Who knows~!! But, she doesn't care much about me at all.. Like recently i injured my arms and she did not cares about it. Just like did not know of it at all... Well, from this i think she really don't care about me at all... I believe so...

Well...I'm not gonna stop being friends with her due to her insensitive behavior...I'll keep in touch and cares her whenever i can...because i still like her...

~What a Busy Friday~

Today is Friday~~ Supposed to be very relaxing~~ do some research...read some Microsoft readings materials..to spend my Friday work day...Mana tau~~~ ( = _ = )"....Got emergency task to do...

Haizz...make my Friday work mood all crashed =(... luckily i still managed to finish off and set my way to Midvalley meet my dad on time ( -^.^- )...*coz my dad hate people late* =D

Today is my father's belated special day...suppose is Wednesday celebrate his birthday but he busy can't make it and postponed to today.. lucky went well tonight...managed to eat dinner...watch movie...chit chat at Starbucks... =D

After that, 2nd round yum cha with my beloved colleagues at puchong..=) So, today i feel very fulfilling and happy about it...

And also.....I managed to chit chat with her today.. (^.^)....but hor, she seems like reluctant to talk with me...who knows~ maybe i too sensitive gua~~ Dun care anymore le~~

She is cute still...but, sometimes i can see she will silence for a moment while me and others are chit chating gila-gila...Maybe that's her true side of herself?? hmm...i wonder~

~My feelings stays still~

No matter how hard i try to convince myself "I do not like her~..she is just a one of my passby-er in my life.."...
My feelings towards her still strong and i can't help myself to peep on her whenever she's here...

Say me selfish or watever you want to call me....i have my own reasons to stop pursuit my lovely nicole~

I'm sorry Nicole...perhaps you didn't even know that i liked you..I'll d like remain it that way till i sort my problem out first.... Let me quietly look at you....see you smile....

Can't help it myself to grab you in my arm and say " Let me protect you from now on and love you with all my heart~ I love you"