It's been long time didn't write my blog. Well~~~ here I am again...writing out my deepest thinking right here...at my blog. Wonder anybody follow my blog especially "her"...
Ever since my last updates on my blog...I did not really take any actions to....well, be her bf or my gf. I don't have the guts to do that. Because...I think too much (@_@)"
Seeing her appearances and mindset, she probably won't have any interest on young adults like me. well, i'm just guessing. Everyday or maybe every hour, she will have at least few guys who tries to get close to her, find ways to interact with her. I believed their ultimate goals is >>> woo her to be his gf. I believe every guy would do that. It's a standard process to get to it! I tried to...but i got several bad feedbacks from her especially... a "cold shoulder" to me. Maybe she can't find any interest or anything on me....Again, i'm guessing it as well...
After several weeks of cool off by isolating myself interact with her, the ultimate root cause for this is on me. I think too much! Do too much thinking and yet a bad thinkings that makes me sulking in front of her... ( = . =") arrghhh.... To prevent this happening again, i made a conclusion! I need a change~!
Because of her..i felt misery, upset, gloomy, anger, all of the bad emotions that we could name of...The root cause of all this are >>> Bad mindset! And i know by showing my bad emotions to her, i scared her away more.. or other way round..Makes her dislike me more... Well, i'm guessing it again because she is a good in covering her real emotions...i mean very good~ But, i still managed to "caught" her cover up although she refuse to reveal her true emotions..
Back to main topic, I decided to change..How?I found a book: How to make yourself happy? ...Oh my~ that suits me definitely!! I read the book and somehow it works fine to me...Now i'll just need to keep practicing it to keep my mood high up.. People prefer facing happy people than sad people. Don't you agree? So, i train myself to be happy all the time and also few techniques to dissolve unhappy feeling quickly.
Although i managed to keep myself happy, I dun noe whether is she happy or not. After i started isolation method, she and I did not keep in touch frequently as usual. I felt a "gap" between us..I dun noe when it created and felt it's getting bigger and bigger....till we didn't even face to face eventhough we sit opposite together.
Could this be she and I really cannot be together?? Or she also felt the same feelings to me and yet shy to talk to me? Who knows~!! But, she doesn't care much about me at all.. Like recently i injured my arms and she did not cares about it. Just like did not know of it at all... Well, from this i think she really don't care about me at all... I believe so...
Well...I'm not gonna stop being friends with her due to her insensitive behavior...I'll keep in touch and cares her whenever i can...because i still like her...
