~ My First Attempt ~

This is my first time i write this blog. i don't really want to write this blog at first. But... i couldn't bear it anymore. I need to spill out my loneliness inside me. The more i think of, the more pain i feel.

That's why i write this blog is to just express my loneliness. I don't want to keep it inside anymore because i know... i know keeping all these emotions and sad memories inside will bring great suffer and pain to our body...our health. I don't want to see consultant because I'm afraid...never willing to share with strangers. And here i am now, writing this blog...

Among all the things i have go through... the most unbearable thing is missing someone you love everyday, every night, every hour, every minutes.. I was thinking it all the time. Why she can not find me or ask how am i for long time like 2 or 3 weeks? Every time i ask her whether want come out meet or not, she always says no time, tired, got things to do, and even says feeling not going out. I want to come over check on her, she refuses...again.. I'm really out of idea how to deal with this relationship and how to face her...

Just last Thursday, she asked me out to meet up. That time i was really happy... she automatically asked me out. But, on the way to meet her. She sms me...says she need to go back home by 6pm and the time she request to meet is 4pm. I was like....she spending only 2 hours to meet, chat, spend time with her. I know she tried to find time for me.. But, what i want is not this... what i want is just a simple sms or call me to chat. That's all... She seems don't understand what i want. I don't want a 2 hours meeting in 2 weeks...

Sad....sad... every sms i sent to her seems no respons on it. Everytime i saw her, i really want to ask her this...all this ignorance of my sms, why didn't reply me back.. late reply i dun mind...1 day late i also don't mind...just don't never reply me and act like nothing.... Enough le~~ i don't want to argue this anymore... the more i say, the more pain i get...

All i can do now is hope and pray....what you say to me is true after all...i will ignore your ignorance to me because i love you so much...really...like what you said " Please don't leave me alone"....and me asking you also...please don't let me behind.... What i can do now is TRUST....i trust your words...i trust your feelings towards me.. Bibi~~ i love you...